conversations you don't want to have

Costume Coordinator (CC): Uh, Kaitlyn.
Me: yeah?
CC: Who dresses the munchkin kids?
Me: Uh...
CC: I mean we have 14 new kids in every city who have to get on and off stage every night without getting killed by a set piece or a flying monkey. Who's in charge of that?
Me: The kid wrangler?
CC: You have a kid wrangler? I don't think you have a kid wrangler...
Me: I need to go see Stage Management. I'll be right back...

Props Guy: Uh, Kaitlyn?
Me: yeah?
PG: Have you given any thought to fire proofing?
Me: Fireproofing?
PG: Yeah. The Witch and the Scarecrow need to "catch on fire," without, you know, dying, every night. How are you treating their costumes?
Me: I need to go see Stage Management. I'll be right back...