It was all going so well.
We are in Champaign, IL in our second arena in two days. This one, in addition to being even more gargantuan than our previous arena, also has an enormous stage. Now there's lots of space and then there's the problem of too much space, like this arena. When we have too much space it takes minutes longer to get everywhere. The dressing rooms are literally city blocks away from the stage. Plus the hallways are long and have a lot of intersections and I invariably turn the wrong way... Nobody who knows me finds this surprising. And I don't mean that I turn the wrong way one time, I mean I turn the wrong way EVERY time.
It's my thing. Let it go.
So we set up the show, I find out that one of my students from the University of Arizona is working as a local in Illinois and will be on my wardrobe crew. (!) We have a great time catching up, reminiscing about Tucson theatre etc. Good times. And the show goes well. For the first act.
For the second act we have a ton of costumes preset on stage. Part of what Jennifer and I do every night is check all the presets. Which we did last night. Now Jennifer visually checks that all the presets are where they should be and I actually check labels and boots and hats and make sure all the pieces are correct. Jennifer did her job.
Apparently I did not do my job.
There are two fast changes right before Springtime for Hitler. Franz changes into his Hitler costume and then Roger changes into his Hitler costume. These costumes look identical. The actors are different sizes.
Everyone can see where this is going, so just sit back and enjoy the ride.
To add to the fun, the guy who usually plays Franz is out sick. So we have an ensemble guy playing Franz and clearly he doesn't usually play this part or wear this costume plus he's quite a bit shorter than the usual guy who plays this role. We call him mini-Franz. Tonight I do his quick change with him and as I hand him his shirt I noticed that the collar looked a little odd. Then he puts his pants on and they are big. He tries to do his belt and then says “I can't get this. I don't think it's my belt.” At this point I think that the dresser must have accidentally preset the costume for the original Franz, which is annoying but no harm done.
So mini-Franz goes on stage and does his scene and we start into the madness that is Springtime for Hitler, not only a long scene but also the longest sequence of quick changes in the show and the sole reason that we need 10 dressers. I'm in the middle of my quick change, about a 40 second change, and I hear Jennifer over the radio: “Kaitlyn! We need the Hitler costume for Roger! Can you go get it out of his dressing room?”
On the other side of stage, Roger came over to do his Hitler change, put on the shirt and said “This is too small. I think it's not my shirt.” Jennifer says “can you wear it?” He says “Yeah, I think so” and he picks up the pants. As he tries to put them on he says “These aren't my pants.” and struggles to get them up with no success. Jennifer looks at the tag, which is labeled for the mini-Franz, and realizes that we have the wrong costume. Later she said “I was so distracted that it never once occurred to me to ask 'If we have the costume for mini-Franz, what is mini-Franz wearing???' ”
When I hear her over radio, I literally run out of my quick change and am headed down the stairs when I realize that I've just left my girl to struggle into her costume by herself, which she can't zip or hook. So I run back up the stairs and run past Corey on the way. He's heard all the commotion over radio so he yells “kaitlyn! What can I do? What do you need?” I yell back “Hitler costume from the dressing room!” and I run back to finish my quick change so she can get on stage.
Corey books down the stairs and Luke, our Audio guy who is also on radio, reaches over and picks up the Razor scooter next to him and swings it into position at the foot of the stairs. I swear it looked like they had rehearsed it. Corey launched off the bottom step onto the scooter and blazed down the hall to the dressing rooms. I leaped down the stairs and as I ran down the hall I hear Corey over radio “Kaitlyn! I can't find it!! Where are you?” For the first time all night I turn the right way at the hallway intersection and meet him in the dressing room pawing through the clothes on the rack. One glance tells me that the costume isn't there and I figured I had put it away by accident with the original Franz's clothes. I run to that gondola, I find a shirt but no pants. At this point Roger has less than one minute to get on stage. All I can think is that they are going to sing “Heil Hitler!” and all turn towards the stairs and the spotlight will be on an empty step because Hitler is still NAKED!
So I hand the shirt to Corey and say “Go!” and he scoots down the hall with the shirt flying behind him. I run behind him back to stage and see him run across stage saying “I have a shirt!” Roger looks up frantically and says “the shirt isn't the problem!! I can't wear the pants!”
Now, note that I was at mini-Franz's change and Jennifer was at the Roger change, both of us noticing that the costumes were wrong, I'm at the dressing room and I don't see the costume and it STILL never occurs to either of us that the costumes were switched. This is unusual for me in normal circumstances because one of the things I'm good at in this job is thinking on my feet and finding stuff in a pinch. But we are at the end of a lot of one nighters and by that point I can barely string coherent words together. So as soon as I see Roger get into the shirt, Jennifer and I both look at each other and say “mini-Franz!” Corey says “Where is he!” and runs to the other side of stage. Corey finds mini-Franz sitting in the corner, screeches to a halt in front of him, points and commands “take your pants off!”
Mini-Franz, who has been dressed for 20 minutes or so watching us run (and scoot) back and forth across the stage, says he also realized at that moment that he was wearing Roger's costume. I see him stand up and start to strip and I wave and yell “over here!” He staggers across the backstage area struggling out of his pants and his boots. Roger has put on the shirt by this point, he grabs the pants, pulls his boots on and is running towards the stairs as I run beside him hooking his belt. As he gets to the top we hear “Heil Hitler!” and I see the spotlight and Hitler steps on to stage.
Jennifer and I look at each other and collapse in laughter while Corey pumps his fist in the air and says “YES!” Then he looks at me and says, “This is why I do LIVE theatre!”
Yeah? Me too.
